Yes! You have finally found a program that will let you in on the secrets of love. And even though we are letting you in on these secrets, it will not be until you experience these 90 exercises that you will understand them.
90 Days of Love first and foremost is based on the following Three Laws of Love.
The Three Laws of Love
- Your ability to love is proportional to the robustness of your love center
- You cannot control anyone other than yourself
- You can only have a loving relationship with another person who chooses to have a loving relationship with you
As you go through 90 Days of Love, you will begin to see these laws in action. From these Three Laws of Love, and through our own practices and understanding, we have become aware of Five Secrets of Love. We call them secrets because many people do not know about them, even though the real secret is that love has been inside of all of us the entire time.
The 5 Secrets of Love
LOVE SECRET #1 You are capable of realizing your dreams of love.
You are a normal and whole human being, fully capable of living a life of love and creating a #10 relationship.
90 Days Of Love is about exercising and strengthening your love center. Not by educating you about love, but by giving you easy exercises to experience the great power of love inside of you. For to attract more love into your life, you must first BE a loving person.
Love is a higher form of survival. Love, when robustly integrated in our core, will establish control over our fight or flight reactions, and over our feelings of fear, anger and hate. Moreover, because love emanates from the newest parts of our brain, and these parts can be re-wired, renewed, and regrown, we have the ability to learn to love.
We can learn to love! We know because we have done it.
LOVE SECRET #2 Love is the emotion of connection.
When we think of the love we want, what we are really thinking is that we want the experience of connecting with another human being. Connection is the universal link between all people. We experience this universal link at different levels such as the spiritual, emotional, mental, and the physical levels. When we have an experience of connection, we feel love.
To reiterate, love begins in the newest parts of the brain, whereas fear and anger find their source in the more primitive parts of the brain. If we were loved supremely by our mothers and fathers, cared for by our families, and generally experienced a loving childhood, our love center was activated. In other words, when we have a connected childhood, we can easily love and be resilient in adulthood.
But when we have a disconnected childhood, knowing how to connect with another human being can be like communicating in an unknown foreign language. Without the lessons of connection from our caregivers, our primitive brain’s fear, anger, and other instincts for survival can overwhelm our love center. This can suffocate our natural ability to love in the long-term.
LOVE SECRET #3 You are able to consciously create love.
In other words, you have the ability to control the amount of love you give and receive. The amount of love you have is not dependent on your past, or who you are. The amount of love you have is dependent on whether your love center is activated and used. The more you use it, the more love you will have in your life.
Since love is an experience of connection, by creating such an experience, you will create the feeling of love. Adversely, and pay attention here, by creating experiences of disconnection with people, you will diminish love. 90 Days Of Love is designed for you to experience connection with other people, nature and the most important person in the world, you.
Perhaps possessing conscious directives of love may not be in your playbook, and so you may take in this secret with a grain of salt. But may we then give you the knowledge that you have been up to this moment unconsciously creating experiences of connection and/ or disconnection.
The purpose of this book, then being, is to pull from your unconscious the power of creating connections and land it squarely in the commanding portion of your mind. You can choose to love yourself, one other person, all people, or a number in-between. You can also choose to receive love from yourself, one other person, all people, or a number in-between. It’s all your choice. It is up to you.
LOVE SECRET #4 Your thoughts and behaviors grow love.
Two things trigger feelings: thoughts and behaviors. Since the nervous system is the source of our feelings, and we possess consciousness, or the ability to self-direct, then our conscious thoughts can trigger feelings of love – though surely those thoughts have to be specifically conjured for connection.
And since our feelings in turn pull the knobs and levers of our behaviors, much like a crane operator maneuvers tons of cargo with minimal effort, the two, feelings and behavior are interconnected. So it stands to reason that the effect can run in reverse. That is, your behaviors will influence your emotions. There are wise sayings to this truth such as ‘Fake it ‘til you make it!’ or ‘If you want to feel better, smile.’ Try it out for yourself.
Some people think that the only working method of controlling behaviors is by suppressing our feelings. Though it does work, it is very inefficient in that it takes great energy to suppress what is natural. And in the end, suppressing your emotions is only a method that diminishes the human experience instead of creating it.
LOVE SECRET #5 The more you connect with people, the more they will connect with you.
Let’s assume there are three kinds of people in regards to broken hearts. The first are the kind that never learned to love and so connection is unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory. The second kind are those that once loved, but because they experienced loss, betrayal, rejection, control or anything else that can cause emotional pain, they now fear connection. And then there are the third kind that keep falling in love for the thrills and not for connection.
If you are one of these kinds of broken-hearted people, this last secret is for you (as it was for us). Your revitalization can come from two directions. The first direction is from outside of yourself. Someone will love you so much that you will begin to experience connection and begin the process of learning to love. Though most likely you will put up a battle resisting connection and defending your reality of separateness. You know what we mean. Remember all those times someone loved you and you still said ‘Goodbye!’
The second direction is from within yourself. This will come from putting in time and energy into you, working on you, and practicing love. We promise you, learning to love from the inside out is easier and more rewarding. For you will give yourself the opportunity to make the uncomfortable comfortable, overcome fear with courage, and make those thrills last. You can control yourself. You cannot control others. This is the essence of 90 Days of Love.
Just remember, as you begin to love others, you will find some of them resistant to being loved, perhaps just as we were at one point.
So in a nutshell, using these five secrets of love as a guideline, this book presents 90 days of exercises that will engage you towards mastering your thoughts and behaviors so as to experience connection, thus freeing up the tremendous love that dwells within.